I think that's one of the flavors at Cold Stone Creamery. Right now though, it's the thought that's been pulsing through my brain for the past 24 hours, literally. I was in need of sweets so bad last night (there is a lack of them in my house due to my new eating habits) that I went to my apparent last resort: chocolate chips. That wasn't enough though, it wasn't sweet enough. I proceeded to make up some cookie dough and eat a few spoon fulls. Which I also did throughout the day today. I feel so sick, that at this very moment the only thing I can think is how much I can't believe I allowed myself to do that. I let myself make a horrible choice. Because of how I'm feeling at this very moment I know it won't happen again. In fact, typing this right now is making my stomach turn in ways I haven't felt since I was pregnant. (don't worry no chance of that, as I am having my cycle now) My cycle, I think, is part of the reason... Although I truly don't know why I thought I needed that sugar. I'm glad I worked out tonight, afterward (right now) my body is screaming: "THAT WAS A HORRIBLE CHOICE! THAT WAS A BAD IDEA! ALL THIS WORK, AND THAT'S HOW YOU EAT??? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" My response? "I guess I wasn't."
All I know is I've got my game face on now, and I know I will pay for my actions at weigh-in tomorrow. As if being on my cycle wasn't enough, I had to eat like a cow. Smart one Ashley. It's behind me now, or at least it will be once I get that crap out of my system. As for weigh-in tomorrow I will be completely honest with whatever horrible number is on that scale. I'm guessing I packed on four or five pounds with all the junk I ate on Sunday and the cookie dough binge yesterday and today. Judging my bad behavior the past week I will be lucky to weigh-in equal to last month's final weigh-in at the end of this month. Does that make sense?
I'm disgusted with myself, mentally and physically.
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